Well I did it… Tackled a phobia

Dear Katie,

It’s been a while, and I would firstly like to catch up with you for a few things… Ross said he loved me!! Woop woop! I mean, I said it first, but still!! Woop woop.. and on Valentines day! We are also planning a little Europe tour in the summer.. I’m so excited!!

Anyway.. I did it! I signed up and donated blood! Can you believe it! I still can’t. *Just for those people reading, I have a HUGE phobia of needles* Katie was a blood donor, and as I’m currently on lent, I wanted to give more and thought that this would be a good way of going about it.

Ross was working on Valentines day, so I thought in the evening instead of being on my own, I will go and donate. I did it 2 days after I signed up, and I thought that if I don’t do it then, I’m going to be too much of a chicken to do it so nipped it in the bud.

Here’s how it went….

I went half an hour before because I needed to mentally prepare myself. Dad was giving me prep talks and he said to keep saying to them things like “Tell them it’s your first time etc” So after reading the very important information you get called to get your finger prick done.

This was in my opinion the most painful part! I was silently freaking out, and after she took some of my blood and tested it, she said “Okay you’re ready.” Go and wait around the corner to donate. Katie at this point I WAS FREAKING OUT! I couldn’t keep still, I was playing with my bag, I wouldn’t look at the people giving blood! But what spurred me on, was of course you  and where the drinks were there was a tablecloth that kids had drawn on with things saying “Thank you for my blood transfusion.. :)” and that just made me want to go for it.

The nurse called me over, and she could tell I was incredibly nervous.. she was great though. She calmed me right down, and looking back I realised how pathetic I was. I firstly started crying when she was wiping my arm, (!) saying things like “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” After she had done she handed me this laminated paper that had exercises.. (did you know that if you squeeze your bum it lowers your blood pressure) and I was clinging onto it for dear life, and she went “Okay, have we read it, shall I take it off you?” I shook my head and she left it with me haha!

We then had a back and forth, of me going.. “Hold on a second..” Then I cried some more, then she put the needle in.. it didn’t hurt at all and when the nurses came to distract me, I could hardly tell it was there, so it was a big build up for nothing! I cried when it was finished because I was so proud of myself!


At the tea table, I felt a little light headed, and the nurse went “Okay love, lets get you down here.” And in front of EVERYONE I had to lie down on the floor on an inflatable bed whilst the main nurse came and fanned me! How embarrassing! After 15 minutes of being fanned and sorting myself out I was able to go back to the tea table where new people were and were asking how I was! I was just like, “It’s my first time!”

I’m super proud of myself, and I know you’d be proud of me too poptart. I got sent a text that said my blood is B+ and that it was sent to Birmingham University hospital which made me feel amazing! Imagine if people who are trying to find cures are using my blood, or someone who desperately need my blood can get it!  I’ve booked in for my next one already! I am of course still terrified but I feel amazing for doing it.

Here I am, after my donation.. you can see my teary eyes….

Love and Miss you xxxxx




Dear Katie,

I went to see the new Disney film Coco.  Firstly, it was Disney so of course I was going to go. Secondly, it was 8set In South America, so the music is going to be ah-mazing! So, it’s about a boy called Miguel who needs Music in his life and his family bans it due to heartbreak over a musician years ago. On the day of the dead, he gets transported to his ancestors in their world. He meets this one person who is being forgotten about and soon he will disappear into thin air. I shan’t tell you the rest, (I’m sure you snuck into a cinema and saw it whilst trying to steal a Fanta frozen… hey do you remember that time me, you and Sarah went to the cinema to go and see a very boyish kind of film. We were the only girls there. Sarah only came because she wanted a Fanta frozen and I remember you going out loud “Oooh Charlotte… we love a bit of action don’t we!” haha.. Anyway…)  but during the film, I thought of a few things.

I tried to imagine what it would be like where you were.  *Sidenote* I had a dream about you the other day, where me, you and Sarah were at a carnival, and we were all laughing. You were in ghost form, but Sarah and I knew you were there, because  we then had a massive popcorn fight. Lily also said that she had a dream about you too.. she said that we were all together and you looked lovely in your ponytail and we were all laughing. So I like to think you are visiting us in our dreams. Anyway, back to where we were.. I think you’re having a great time and that I can imagine you are running your own business or something, and spying on us all. If you are, do you like Ross? Do you have to pass through us, is it like Ghost?

Another thing, the main theme of the film was family and remembering loved ones. There got to a point where this happened….


At which point I absolutely balled my eyes out. And had this reaction…. (from 2 minutes in)


I was emotional. In the song, it says ‘I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart..’ Well I don’t sing to you, but I do every night go “Goodnight poptart” Apart from when Ross stays over. I said it once, because it was autopilot, and Mum was staying over and she went “What you on about Charlotte” ,  So it’s just a secret goodnight between us otherwise I reckon Ross would think I’m already more bonkers than he think I probably am already!

That’s all. I miss you, I will always remember you.

Love love.





Happy birthday!

Dear Katie, 


I hope you’re having a good day up there. I’m sure you’ll be busy doing something wonderful. I miss you oh so much.  As is tradition I bought some pink roses and had candles and drank with and has some Ben and Jerry’s 

Love you xxxxxxxxxxx

Vomit in his eyes!!!

Dear Katie,

Following on from my last post, I  went on a date with a guy who the first date was pretty good. Lasted 10 hours, which I thought was pretty impressive.

Our second date was going to be at the Oxford Food festival. I’d gone round Nicole’s the night before so was feeling a little tender (nothing a cup of tea can resolve!) and as I was getting ready I got a text from Nathan. ” Can we delay, I did some really bad things last night?” I was like.. riiiight okay.

Anyway, we met up.. he got so drunk the night before that he’d lost his bank card with meant I had to pay for everything, and he woke up with vomit in his eyes!!! IN HIS EYES!!!

Needless to say, we didn’t go on a third date. I have however been on a date with another guy. He’s sweet, and I went round his house yesterday where he cooked me Sunday dinner. We might have ended up being a bit naughty (whoops!)  Remember you went all the way to London to have sex with a guy you were dating. I remember you saying ” Honestly, the things I have to do to get an orgasm!” Hahaha
Miss you.


Update- It is not fate..

Dear Katie,  

Paul stood me up like he did at uni. We were supposed to meet up for dinner, but he failed to tell me he was I  London until I actually had to ask him if we were meeting up. 

How silly of me to think that because he started working in Oxford/abingdon something would happen. 

I was so annoyed because I drove back to Oxford especially. 

Oh well.. obviously not meant to be. 


Winnie the Pooh.

Dear Katie,

They are going to make a new film about Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh. I teared up in the trailer already.


Do you remember that time it was your maybe like 13th birthday and you had a birthday party around your house. We all gathered in your living room and went to secretly watch Jaws whilst the adults probably drank wine in the kitchen. Anyway, I remember whenever your dad kept coming in you would switch it over to Winnie the Pooh because we weren’t old enough to watch Jaws. Especially Ellie… it was so funny because your parents and friends all knew what was happening!!! Haha good times poptart!


Is it fate?

Dear Katie,

Hello, It’s been  a while poptart. Don’t worry I still think of you everyday, I’ve just been crazy busy!

So, my uni love  got in contact recently. By uni love, I mean the guy I sort of dated on and off for three years, and by that I mean whenever we saw each other would snog each others face off… what a lovely way to say that! We left uni on the fact that we were going to meet up the next day after graduation ball where we decided we really liked each other. BUT he stood me up! He said his phone ran out of charge so he missed our meeting, and because he was in his work experience year in Houses of Parliament, it meant he didn’t have time to see me as he had to catch his train. I remember being really upset because well, it was third year and we both confessed we actually really liked each other! Whenever I saw him, I would always flock to him like a little sheep.  But I always held a little flame for him, but you know knew nothing would ever happen because he lived in Sunderland or Cornwall and the fact he’s a rubbish texter back all added in.


So We’d text a few times recently because he was the Lib Dem MP for Sunderland Hope and something and they’d put someone in his place on TV on the election night who had Paul’s hair and I shared this with him and had a little catch up. Then out of the blue.. Paul text me saying he was coming to Oxford and asked if we could meet up for coffee. I all of a sudden got the biggest butterflies and went very girly! (I really hope he doesn’t see this… that would be embarassing!)

It had been 7 years since I saw him. Loads of thoughts were going round my head.. is it going to be awkward, will we discuss what happened at uni between us, will we have a cheeky kiss, will he even like me in that way, what if he has a girlfriend… all these things! I realised from a “Let’s catch up” text to thinking all this stuff I just need to calm. down.

My mum was very excited about it…. she even face timed me from New Zealand!

So we met at the train station where it was so lovely to see him! It wasn’t awkward at all, and I showed him the sights of Oxford and it was really lovely. We caught up about old friends and uni times. It actually turns out he’s been offered a job in the town where I live!!!! From working in Sunderland all the way to Abingdon where I live!! I don’t know about you, but part of me thinks….Is this fate? Who knows! Ooh and another thing, we went for noodles and then after had fortune cookies. His read that he was going to go on a journey with a girl.

We wrapped up our evening with him offering to show me round houses of parliament,  (How Bridget Jones am I going to be in there.. I have to  be on my best behaviour!) a kiss on the cheek and a text from him saying he had an ace day and that we should go for a drink in one of the lovely pubs in Abingdon one day. Which I think is a very positive outcome.

So, who knows. *cringe alert* When I first saw Paul at uni, we were heading in the club for a night out and I saw him and thought “I must talk to him.” A drunken “Hello” when I saw him in the joint bathroomy- hand washy- area has now led to this and a uni background with him.

I’ll keep you updated, but… yeah… I’m pretty happy.